The way i view the world now puts me on the verge of tears. It has been a slow progression into this state of mind, maybe it stems from me always trying to make sense of the world and better myself in a positive way but the things i enjoy are so visceral nowadays.
I was never the kid that tried his hardest nor did i ever have that pressure from my parents, they would always support me in every hobby i picked up but never pushed me to keep going.
I dont hate them for it but maybe it was the answer to why i never really tried. The more i distance myself from youtube, twitter and insta etc etc the more connected i feel.
The passion i feel from the things i love is thicker than blood, like i can grab it. This in turn makes me a more passionate person.
I think in the world of distraction we can move from one thing to another completely drowning our brain in content that we reach a point where none of its means anything as if the screen becomes a foggy window. The over accessibility is killing the soul of creation and to finally realizing that feels like the chains have broken.
I guess this feeling is why i try now, maybe i didnt need pressure but instead, passion.