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Its been a while since the 21 day mental fast. Admittingly, I wasnt as strict as I planned to be but I finished it with a deeper understanding of myself, what i want, how i operate and what my life really needs to look like for me to get to where i want to be.

I imagined it would be like a race. Once crossing the finish line you collapse on the ground but really it felt like the person i was at the end of it was who i have always been. Im only realizing this now, its pretty shocking at how quickly you can change your habits.

The two biggest takeaways are planning your day and authenticity. Being able to trust your gut especially in a creative field is probably the main difference between good and great. To trust your gut is to be yourself and an artist who isnt himself might as well be spiritually dead. How do you expect to uplift humanity without any conviction at all?

I heard someone say however much time you have to complete something is how long it will take. If you're anything like me you can meddle with something and allow your perfectionism to completley take over, setting a time limit avoids wasting time and tunnel vision. If you're working on something that takes multiple hours you can jump around between differnt things. I like the pomodoro method and I used 50/10 for a long time but i think 90/15 might be better.

I finished 1984 for the first time (i know). It was way better than my contrarian brain expected so ill let it sit in my subconcious for a couple months before i write a review. Reading more has also made my brain work better. One day i will have a study filled with books ive read...i dont understand how people go thorugh more than 30 books a year. What is wrong with them? When im 80 i'll sit in a room filled with books i love, even if its just a small pile... that will be enough.

I never had an answer to the question "What drives you more, Fear or Love?" until now.
Love.

Yet I still hum, a buzzing wire.